Ron, a middle manager at an automotive parts company, had the chance to make a good impression on top executives by giving a presentation at a company wide meeting. Though he was naturally a gregarious person, he felt he should adopt a more formal persona.

He carefully scripted the whole presentation, even practicing where and when he would gesture with his hands. The big day came. In his attempt to follow the script, he neglected to make eye contact with his audience. Struggling to remember when to move his hands, he used gestures that didn’t match his words. In the end, he came off as wooden and off-base. He seemed inauthentic and did not elicit his listeners’ attention and agreement.

Clara, who spoke after Ron, took a different approach. Clara was comfortable with herself and did not feel the need to present a different persona to her audience. She studied her facts until she could quote the major ideas from memory. Without notes, she spoke openly to her audience and held their attention. She knew as she finished that she had successfully connected with her listeners. Later, the head of her division praised her for being sincere and authentic.

What Does It Mean To Be Authentic?

The dictionary defines authenticity as being true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character. The word also describes something that is worthy of belief because it is genuine or true. By contrast, inauthenticity seems fake. Unfortunately, even a sincere speaker like Ron can project an inauthentic image if they are uncomfortable onstage.

Being authentic does not mean winging it or saying whatever is on your mind. It requires thought and preparation. Communications coach Nick Morgan writes in a Harvard Business Review article that since neither casual spontaneity nor traditional rehearsal leads to compelling communication, “You have to tap into the basic impulses underlying your speech. These should include four powerful aims: to be open, to connect, to be passionate, and to listen. Each of these aims informs nearly all successful presentations.”

The intention to openly connect to your audience and listen to their reactions guides authentic speaking. You can develop these foundations with the following elements of authenticity.

Know yourself.

Self-awareness is the underpinning of authenticity. After all, if you don’t know who you are and how you feel, how can you be your authentic self? Developing self-knowledge begins with having the courage to see yourself as you really are, including your imperfections, doubts, and fears.

You don’t need to blurt out your every anxiety when you speak, but by grounding yourself in the reality of who you are, you will make other people more comfortable. Judyth Jernudd, keynote speaker and founder of the Jernudd Company, a speaking and media coaching company headquartered in Los Angeles, California, reflects on her early career as a news anchor. “The producers told me, ‘We want you to be yourself. Don’t try to be anyone else.’ That was the best advice I ever had,” she says.

Know your audience.

To build your credibility, consider your audience members’ backgrounds, language patterns, and cultural mores. Customize the images and metaphors you use.

Frank Furness is the past president of the Professional Speakers Association of Europe and has worked in 69 countries. He says, “Your stories have to match the culture and you have to be aware of cultural sensitivities and maybe change some of your slides and presentation. Examples must also match the culture. If I speak in India and mention sports, I will speak about cricket, not American football. In Europe, I might speak about football (or soccer) and not basketball, as the audience needs to relate to what happens in their country.”

Your audience members need to feel that they have something in common with you. Building on pertinent cultural details helps achieve this goal.

Know your material.

It’s impossible to come across authentically when you are stumbling over facts or key elements of your message. Rehearse until you know your material cold. Review your notes repeatedly. Memorize vital details and statistics.

When you speak, your listeners expect you to tell them something they have not heard before. That means you need to be original. Furness adds, “The most important thing is to be genuine and use your own stories and material. Never copy anyone else.”

Paradoxically, it takes planning and effort to build an authentic presence. Here are three ways to build your authenticity.

1 Match your gestures and tone to your content.

Morgan, the communications coach, writes, “People’s natural and unstudied gestures are often indicators of what they will think and say next.” If we try to control our gestures, our words and motions might get out of sync and confuse our listeners.

Using rapid movements, “studied” gestures, nervous tics, and other physical tells can detract from your image of authenticity. Allow your hands to move naturally in sync with your words; don’t try to artificially connect certain words to specific movements.

“While it’s helpful to learn from those more experienced than you, imitating another person’s speaking style or gestures may come off as inauthentic and fake.”
—Lauren Kerwin, Ph.D.

“Sometimes new speakers watch videos of successful public speakers and try to imitate their style and/or mannerisms,” explains Lauren Kerwin, Ph.D., an associate professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, as well as a psychologist and a coach to business leaders. “While it’s helpful to learn from those more experienced than you, imitating another person’s speaking style or gestures may come off as inauthentic and fake.”

2 Be vulnerable, but don’t overshare.

Allowing yourself to show your humanity is a good thing. Blurting out overly personal information is not recommended. As Jernudd says, “Delivering a speech is not therapy.” Do not share overly personal information unless you are confident that doing so will not make anyone uncomfortable.

Sometimes, individuals think that being authentic means spouting out whatever is on their mind. They might say, “I’m just being honest and authentic by sharing my truth.” Saying whatever comes to mind is not being authentic. Authenticity includes emotional intelligence, which dictates that we should only share our thoughts when our audience is able to hear and understand them. For example, if you strongly disagree with something another speaker says, you can respectfully state your alternative view without sharing a negative opinion of the other person.

3 Don’t speak from a script.

Authenticity implies naturalness. Reading from a script is the opposite of natural. It is forced and often stilted. Moreover, it takes you away from connecting with your audience by limiting you to standing at a lectern and keeping your eyes on the script instead of your listeners.

As you speak, you should be scanning the audience—are they listening to and looking at you? Are they leaning forward to hear you or slumped back, waiting for you to finish? If you are reading from a script, you are likely to miss indicators about whether you are getting through to your audience.

Prepare carefully. Jot down your key points on a note card that you leave on the lectern in case you need to stroll by and look at them. Then let your language flow.

Cultivating self-awareness in your daily life is the best way to develop an authentic presence as a speaker. Be honest with yourself. Be truthful with others within the bounds of sensitivity. Walk through the world with integrity. You are the only you to ever exist: Let your true nature shine through when you speak, and you will always be authentic.

Click here to read more articles on public speaking and authenticity.

3 Ways to Cultivate Authenticity as a Public Speaker

10 Ways to be a Better Speechwriter

Speaking to a Distracted Audience

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Have you ever read a report at work or listened to a club speech, and at the end, had no idea what the writer or speaker was saying? We all have. When communicators do not know how to express themselves clearly and succinctly, everyone suffers.

I love language and the power words have to persuade, request, inform, or entertain. In fact, I founded Worktalk Communications Consulting specifically to train people to become clear, confident writers. And of course, language skills extend to the spoken word as well. Before founding my business, I worked as a freelance writer, editor, and speechwriter. I saw people struggle to express themselves clearly, and I knew that you don’t have to be a “natural writer” or a “natural speaker” to write and speak successfully. Communication is a skill, and like all skills, it improves with practice. Moreover, applying a few basic principles can transform your writing, and thus your speeches.

Here are 10 tips to help you wield words for results.

1 Eliminate the obvious.

While it pays to touch on ideas your listeners are familiar with, stating something they already know will make them tune out. Eliminate the phrases that will make audience members say, “I know that!” For example, if you are speaking to a group of finance experts, you would not explain what a debit is.

2 Make one point.

The title of my book Get to the Point! says it all: Proficient writing makes one central point. When you try to make multiple points, you may end up delivering none. Supporting points are fine, but they must aim toward your goal. Remember, audience members should be able to summarize what you said in one sentence. Your listeners will not be able to sum up your message succinctly unless you deliver it clearly. And you cannot deliver your message clearly until you crystallize it for yourself. That is why I encourage the people I train to know their primary point before they start to write. Ask yourself, “If listeners could remember only one thing from my speech, what do I want that one thing to be?”

3 Take your readers on a journey.

Good writing tells stories. Listeners or readers want you to take them from here to there. For example, this article takes you from wondering how to write well to understanding valuable tools that support your writing success. Take your readers on a journey from inaction to action, from confusion to clarity, from wherever they are to the place you want them to be.

4 Be choosy with your stories.

Have you ever remembered a brilliant TV advertisement but couldn’t say what product was advertised? That’s a case of telling the wrong story. The advertiser caught your attention but failed in the ultimate goal: to impress the product’s name on your memory. Similarly, when you choose a juicy but irrelevant story, you waste precious attention on words that won’t carry you to your destination. Instead, have a reason for including every story in your writing or speech. Stories are your most powerful tools; use them wisely.

5 Choose vigorous language.

Using active verbs rather than passive ones will make your writing more vibrant. (An active sentence would be, “The speaker presented her ideas.” The passive form would be, “Ideas were presented by the speaker.”) When you have a choice between a word that ends with -ation, such as consideration, choose the verb that hides within the long term, in this case consider. Avoid long, flowery, convoluted sentences. Your listeners will yawn. For example, let’s look at this sentence: We are pleased to inform you that your application has been received and that it is being taken under consideration. This sentence takes 20 words to deliver this message: We have received your application and are reviewing it.

6 Cut! Cut! Cut!

In writing, and in speaking, less is more. You may have a wordy rough draft—that’s normal. Just be sure to follow the writing advice of British author and literary critic Arthur Quiller-Couch to “murder your darlings.” If you think a phrase is just too brilliant, you should probably delete it. Deleting your favorite phrases is tough, but attention spans are shrinking all the time. Edit yourself ruthlessly and your readers and listeners will reward you with their attention.

7 Put your draft aside before you present it.

We’ve all had the experience of writing a speech in a day and congratulating ourselves on how brilliant we are. Then we look at it the next day and are amazed that we had been so mistaken. You can improve everything you write if you let it rest for a day or two and return to it with fresh eyes. You will also benefit from having “a second set of eyes.” Ask a trusted friend or colleague to give you feedback before finalizing your draft.

8 Speak authentically.

As the Irish poet and playwright Oscar Wilde wrote, “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” No one can be you, and you cannot be anyone else. You may learn from other peoples’ styles but never mimic them. If your favorite speaker is crisp and concise, model your speech after their approach, but don’t try to fill their shoes. Otherwise, you might sound phony or affected. You can ask friends or fellow club members for their opinions, but your writing or speaking has to sound like you.

9 Keep it simple.

“Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler,” said the world-renowned physicist Albert Einstein. Your readers and listeners are distracted and overwhelmed. If what you write or say is difficult to understand, they will tune you out in a nanosecond. Instead, hook their attention with a fact or question about their interests and make your point simply, but not simplistically. Simplicity is elegance. Being simplistic is condescension.

10 Have something to say.

Blogger Jeff Hadeen wrote, “Without something to say, no one is a good writer.” Ideas may need to marinate for a while before they’re ready for expression. Don’t rush. Wait until you have something to say.

Then, once you know your point, you can return to point number one and start writing.

Click here to read more articles on business communication

The Language Of Leadership

The Habits of Inclusive Communicators

Inclusive Communication Builds Both People and Profits

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A tech executive recently confessed on LinkedIn that he bites his nails during Zoom meetings. He’s been biting his nails all his life, he said, and wanted to share his vulnerabilities. He was acting on the notion that “bring your whole self to work” is a praiseworthy principle. The response was mixed. Some people applauded him for his openness, especially fellow nail-biters, others not so much. Either they succumbed to the ick factor, thought the whole thing was gross, or considered his revelation too much information. The executive’s admission raises an important question, “How much of our authentic selves should we bring to professional lives?” and “What is appropriate to share?”

The authenticity paradox in the workplace revolves around the tension between being genuine and maintaining professionalism. Finding a balance where you can be your true self without overstepping boundaries or making others uncomfortable is crucial. While seasoned professionals often develop a sense of what’s appropriate through experience, younger professionals may need specific guidance to navigate this delicate balance effectively.

Research indicates that individuals with high emotional intelligence tend to express themselves authentically while also being mindful of social cues. Authenticity, in this context, involves being truthful while considering the impact of your words and actions on others. It’s not just about expressing yourself but doing so in a manner that aligns with the norms and expectations of the professional environment.

1. Integrity and Values

Act in alignment with your integrity and values. Authenticity stems from a consistency between your beliefs and actions. Rather than broadcasting every feeling or opinion, demonstrate your values through your conduct. You will earn respect in the process.

2. Respectful Communication

Treat others with respect, acknowledging their perspectives even in disagreement. This demonstrates your authenticity by recognizing shared humanity and fostering positive interactions.

3. Relevance in Sharing

When sharing personal information, ensure its relevance to the situation. While a brief personal anecdote can humanize interactions, avoid oversharing or derailing discussions from business objectives.

4. Mindful Vulnerability

Show vulnerability strategically to humanize interactions. Briefly sharing relevant personal experiences can build connections but remember to maintain professionalism and stay focused on work-related matters.

5. Emotional Regulation

Manage your emotional responses and communication style professionally. Avoid impulsive reactions that may come across as aggressive or unprofessional. Instead, address concerns calmly and offer constructive feedback or solutions.

6. Contextual Awareness

Stay mindful of the work environment and cultural norms. Adapt your communication style and level of personal sharing based on the context to ensure it aligns with professional expectations.

By embracing these strategies, you can navigate the authenticity paradox effectively. It’s about being genuine while also respecting boundaries and maintaining professionalism. Your authentic self can shine through in a manner that contributes positively to work dynamics and relationships without compromising on appropriateness or effectiveness. Remember, authenticity doesn’t mean sharing everything–it’s about being true to yourself while considering the impact on others in the workplace.

Click here to read more articles on bringing your authentic self into the workplace

3 Ways to Cultivate Authenticity as a Public Speaker

Take Your Leadership Beyond Words Through Body Language and Nonverbal Communication

4 Ways to Build Relationships With Language

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Think about some of the most successful leaders you’ve known—perhaps a boss, a teacher, a Club President, or a committee chair. Chances are they share some common traits. As you develop your leadership skills, it’s helpful to reflect on leaders whom you have most respected, and try to verbalize what made them so impactful.

During my many years working as a consultant for business communications, I’ve found three characteristics that nearly all strong leaders share: a sense of integrity, the ability to respond to feedback, and strong communication skills.

Integrity

Successful leaders show integrity in all their actions, meaning they behave consistently with their values and take responsibility when things go wrong. This kind of integrity leads naturally to authenticity, which makes people feel that when the leader speaks, they reflect their true thoughts and values within the boundaries of professional presentation. Having integrity shows up in other behaviors too, such as being on time for meetings and not interrupting others.

Ability to Receive Feedback

Effective leaders welcome input from other people in the organization. They show a willingness to receive feedback by asking open-ended questions such as, “How do you feel about what I’m saying?” or “Can you tell me more about that?” and using inclusive language that incorporates “we” and “I.” If there’s a disagreement, they don’t get upset or dismiss the person’s observations. A good leader will pause and try to assess what their team members are trying to convey, perhaps by saying, “Let me be sure I understand you. What I think you said is ‘XYZ.’ Is that right?” or “Can you help me understand that better?”

Strong Communication Skills

Perhaps the most crucial trait of a good leader is that they are able to get people to listen when they speak. Strong communicators use clear language to ensure everyone understands the message, and they avoid trite buzzwords and jargon.

Ivan Rosenberg, Ph.D., who has trained over 4,500 leaders in his leadership development workshops, says, “A leader creates the possibility of a future that wasn’t going to happen and enrolls others into taking action to fulfill that future.” In other words, strong leaders create a concept of a future outcome and draw people toward it through their example and their language. It isn’t just the verbal part of communication that makes a difference, the nonverbal part is just as important. Rosenberg emphasizes that leaders’ behavior sets the tone for the whole organization. If leaders make excuses when they make mistakes, they create a company of cover-ups. If they are always late, others assume it’s okay to be late, too.

Verbal Behavior of a Leader: What Do You Say?

As you develop your leadership skills, the most impactful tool you can use is your words. Your words matter, and that includes not only what you say but how you say it.

If you’re trying to connect with a new team, ask questions or play appropriate games to figure out what the interests and strengths of your team members are. Try ice breaker activities to learn more about people’s experience and ways of communicating. Another effective strategy is to use storytelling to bring people together. This is particularly useful if you have stories that align with the goal of the team or can describe a challenging situation that ultimately led to a successful outcome.

Successful leaders behave consistently with their values and take responsibility when things go wrong.

Jargon and buzzwords, such as “low-hanging fruit” and “thinking outside the box,” can lead to confusion or a sense of not belonging for people who don’t know the terms. You will win more confidence using clear and straightforward language than spouting the latest business jargon. The same rule applies to acronyms: Be sure to identify them the first time you use them. For example, don’t describe the program year and refer to the “DCP.” Explain the Distinguished Club Program so new members can understand it, then introduce the acronym.

How you say your words can be just as important as what you say. When you are addressing a group—even during a simple get-to-know-you session—speak clearly and audibly, pronounce your words clearly. If you are in a diverse group, avoid using local dialects that may not translate to your entire team.

Vocal tone is key. To project a sense of leadership, your tone should be strong. A hesitant tone implies uncertainty or lack of confidence. End declarative sentences by pitching your voice downward at the end of each sentence. Treating statements as if they were questions leads to a damaging speaking habit called “upspeak.” People practicing upspeak seem to be asking for the listener’s approval with every sentence. For many listeners, this habit is distracting, even annoying. Drop the last syllable; do not inflect upward.

Your vocal tone says volumes about your feelings. Imagine all the ways that a person could answer “fine” to the question of how they are feeling. Someone might brightly say, “Fine!” and you’ll know they’re having a good day. Another might say “Fine” curtly and you instantly know that they are not fine at all. If you struggle with people misconstruing your words, try listening to recordings of yourself speaking or asking for feedback from your Toastmasters network.

Physical Presence: Looking the Part

Verbal communication is only one aspect of the language of leadership. When you stand in front of people, your audience or team is making snap judgments about your competence, professionalism, and credibility before you even open your mouth. These judgments happen instantaneously, usually at a subconscious level. Your posture, clothing, facial expression, gestures, and other factors must present a consistent sense of leadership.

A leader’s physical presentation should be consistent with the culture and values of their organization; for example, Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Meta, is well known for wearing hoodies to major meetings. However, those hoodies are of excellent quality, clean, and fit him well. When he was called to testify before U.S. Congress, Zuckerberg donned a suit—demonstrating that he knows how to dress appropriately for his environment and is able to adapt as a leader.

Your physical appearance can be empowering or disempowering. To project an image of power, stand up straight, but don’t be rigid. Keep your hands open at your sides unless you are gesturing naturally. Be sure to smile at your audience—sometimes it helps to choose a friendly face in the audience and smile at them. Make your smile genuine, however; plastering a grin on your face will make everyone wonder what you’re hiding. That said, you need to understand the situation and circumstances in which you’re speaking. If you’re addressing something serious, such as a bereavement, disaster, or impending layoffs, a smile would be inappropriate. The secret is to read the room and respond authentically.

Movement is another powerful tool for leaders. Move intentionally. If you stride across the stage, do so in order to speak to both sides of the room—not because you’re feeling antsy. As you move, keep your hands loose at your sides.

Eye contact is another key for connecting with people. In large groups, scan the room and focus on just a few individuals. Then, scan again, noting whether people are still paying attention or have started surreptitiously staring at their phones. If you feel you are losing the audience, change your physical position—stand up if you are sitting down or vice versa. Take a quick poll. Ask a question. Jolt them out of their apathy. In smaller groups, look at individuals with a friendly expression, smiling authentically when the occasion suits.

To retain a strong presence, avoid fidgeting, keeping a stiff posture or facial expression, or playing with your hair, jewelry, or clothing. If you ask others to share their thoughts but then stand with your arms crossed and a stern expression, your listeners are likely to clam up. Whenever your body language contradicts your words, people will believe your body language.

If you feel that maintaining a straight, open posture is uncomfortable—and many beginning speakers feel this way—try practicing in front of a mirror or at your Toastmasters club. Most people are not born knowing how to present themselves professionally. It’s a learned skill, and Toastmasters is an ideal place to practice and master various techniques.

Dealing With Sensitive Issues

If you’re wondering how best to speak to team members under challenging circumstances, remember three words: professional, friendly, and respectful. If you include those three factors in your communication, you won’t go wrong. For example, suppose a team member is upset that they did not receive an expected promotion. You can listen actively and empathetically, showing you comprehend their frustration. Encourage open dialogue, letting the person express their feelings and thoughts. Respect their sentiments.

You can then calmly explain some factors that went into management’s decision without disclosing confidential information. Then, you can respectfully offer to work with the person to create a career development plan that might lead to future promotions.

This approach—listening, reflecting the other person’s message, explaining the situation, and looking toward the future—will help you deal with a wide range of potentially distressing issues.

Developing the language of leadership requires self-awareness. Be mindful of your strengths and weaknesses. Work to improve yourself. As the Toastmasters year gets off to a start, integrate this knowledge into every speech, meeting role, and club officer interaction. By consistently maintaining the personal, physical, and verbal qualities of a leader, you will discover that the language of leadership becomes natural—because you are becoming a leader.

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Henry Pavel (not his real name), the CEO of a midsize software company, needs his team to generate creative ideas for a new product. At the team meeting, he sits behind a large desk. His mouth is set in a tight line, his shoulders are slightly hunched, and his arms are crossed. In a flat tone, he says, “OK, everyone, I want you to all feel free to float your ideas to the group.”

Compare Henry with Eleanor Gunther (also not her real name), the CEO of a different software company. She also needs her team to brainstorm. As each team member arrives, she smiles warmly and thanks them for coming. Her posture is relaxed and open. In a pleasant tone, she invites her team to share their thoughts.

Which CEO’s team might be more likely to come up with the off-the-wall idea that turns the company into a unicorn?

While the examples are a bit exaggerated, it’s clear that team Eleanor will gain the day. Other factors being equal, Eleanor’s nonverbal language bespeaks a leader who is confident, open-minded, and flexible.

Many articles recommend that executives pay attention to nonverbal behaviors such as facial expression, vocal tone, gesture, proxemics (distance from other people), handshake, and other factors. These elements compose much of what employees perceive as the leader’s personality.

However, as somatic coach Thomas Rosenberg points out, the congruence between a leader’s actions and words reflects their level of authenticity and trustworthiness. Rosenberg explains that somatics holds that we are what we practice (how we sit, stand, walk, breathe, carry tension, the language we use with ourselves and others) and the way we hold our bodies in everyday activities.

According to this theory, if a leader attempts to convey “executive presence” but is inwardly uncentered or insecure, their efforts are likely to be perceived as inauthentic. If the leader’s words describe openness, but their facial expression and posture say the opposite, people will usually believe the nonverbal over the verbal.

Executives may sabotage themselves by physically communicating characteristics contrary to what they hope to convey. It can be difficult to control some nonverbal communication because, without our realizing it, our bodies reflect a lifetime of experience. Were we taught as children to tuck our chin or hunch our shoulders? Even when these habits no longer serve us, they persist in the form of our adult body language.

While leaders might benefit from cultivating the nonverbal cues they can control consciously, Rosenberg suggests fostering awareness of our physical sensations and thoughts to produce long-lasting transformations in nonverbal communication. For example, the executive who habitually leaned forward, giving an aggressive impression to his listeners, might learn to sit straight. As Rosenberg says, “Executives need to be conscious, to reconnect to themselves so that they can more easily connect with others.”

Develop executive presence from the inside out

Executive presence begins with self-awareness–getting in touch with your internal physiological signals.

One way to bring in some somatic awareness is by cultivating awareness of our breath. At the start of a meeting, take a deep breath and ask yourself what you are feeling. If your breath is shallow and high in your chest, this may be a sign of anxiety, which can be communicated to others.

Next, be aware of your body. Put your feet flat on the floor and feel what is happening inside you. Are you holding tension somewhere? Perhaps one shoulder is higher or your fist is clenched. Simply noticing tension may be enough to help you release it.

Do you feel a frequent urge to break eye contact? Look away for a moment and travel inside yourself. Ask yourself what your instinct is trying to tell you.

This is not to say that other aspects of nonverbal communication don’t matter. They do. You must dress for the role you play, modulate your vocal tone, arrange physical space to fit your agenda, and manage your gestures.

However, true executive presence stems from an authentic connection to your core self.

The post Take Your Leadership Beyond Words Through Body Language and Nonverbal Communication appeared first on Worktalk.