I wish I could offer attribution to these two punctuation parables but alas I received them unsigned. Nevertheless, they illustrate the important function that punctuation plays in telling the reader how to parse the words on the page.
Punctuation both paces and parses, instructing the reader about when to stop (for periods, question marks, and exclamation points), when to pause (for commas and dashes), when to make a longer stop within a sentence (for colons and semicolons) and when to keep barreling ahead (with no punctuation). Adding punctuation is like being an orchestra conductor, setting the pace and rhythm of your sentence.
But in some cases, punctuation can actually change a person’s life. Here’s how:
Once a prisoner was about to be executed. He stood in the middle of the prison yard, a noose around his neck, standing on a platform that would soon be kicked away. Suddenly the telegraph operator came running across the yard crying, “Wait! I just received a telegram from the governor! It says, ‘Pardon. Impossible to be executed immediately.’”
They removed the noose, gave the man a few dollars, and sent him on his way. Just as the prisoner went out the front gate of the prison, a free man, the telegraph operator came flying out again. “Wait!” he cried, “I got the punctuation wrong. It says ‘Pardon impossible. To be executed immediately.’”
Here is another punctuation parable:
Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy – will you let me be yours?
Gloria