A Weak Writing Pattern: “I wanted to…but I didn’t.”

I wanted to let you know that I am your new sales representative…

I wanted to tell you that I appreciate your help with this project…

I’d like to thank you for your suggestions…

Do you hear a voice in your head that completes those sentences with the words “but I didn’t”?

Let’s say your child wants a new bike for her birthday. The big day comes and you give her a pair of socks.
Plaintively, she cries, “You knew I wanted a bike!” 
You reply, “I wanted to buy you a bike, but we didn’t have the money this year.” In other words, “I wanted to, but I didn’t.”

Brains Use Patterns

Our brains use established patterns to help us quickly understand new information. If I write, If.you call me Tuesday, a chime goes off in your brain that waits for the second half of the pattern, which is Then I’ll give you my answer. The If…., then pattern is deeply ingrained.

When you start a sentence with the first half of a pattern, your reader’s inner voice fills in the second half of the pattern even if you don’t write it. 

And therein lies one of the problems with sentences that start with, “I wanted to”  The phrase implies that you did not do the action you wanted to do. The pattern is, I wanted to…, but I didn’t. So when you write, “I wanted to let you know that…” you are undermining your message by implying that you actually did not let the person know. 

I wanted to is not the only culprit in this genre. There is also I’d like to and I meant to. All these structures imply their opposite.

Don’t Put “I” First 

Those of you who have taken the Worktalk Business Writing training may remember the concept of the essential sentence, which is the core subject and predicate of the sentence. In the sentence, 

• I wanted to thank you for your help, 

the grammatical subject is “I”. The predicate is “wanted to”. The concept of thanks is relegated to a subordinate clause. However, thanking the person is the whole point of the sentence. Why not lead with it?

Whenever you start with “I wanted to” you are shuffling the main point of your message into a less prominent part of the sentence and placing yourself front and center. Yikes! 

You Can Be Indirect in Other Ways

Writers often lapse into the I wanted to structure because they don’t want to seem too aggressive or forward. I wanted to is an indirect approach. I understand the need for indirectness in certain cases; however, I do not think that the I wanted to structure is the solution. 
 You might want to be indirect, as in the sentences:

• I’d like to tell you about our new product. 
• I wanted to tell you about our new product.

You can avoid the tentativeness of these statements by writing something like 

• You might be interested in our new product, which [benefits you in these ways].
• Our new product might interest you.

These are still indirect, but they take the focus off of the writer.

What Should You Do Instead?

Let’s look at the examples from above and see how we might rework them: 

• I wanted to let you know that I am your new sales representative…

You could take the focus off yourself and let the reader know why she should care by writing 

• As your new sales representative, I am available to support you in using our product to solve your problems.

Now let’s consider the sentences: 

• I wanted to tell you that I appreciate your help with that project…
• I wanted to thank you for your suggestions…

These examples are similar. Here’s the thing: If you want to thank someone, thank them! Don’t say you wanted to. Notice the difference in impact when you write

• I appreciate your help with that project.
• Thank you for your suggestions. 

Cut the prelude and get on with the acknowledgment. Your readers will be happier.

I wanted to write a Writamin that illustrates the hazards of the tentative “I wanted to”, “I’d like to” and other patterns… Did I succeed?

Resources

This article lists several other writing habits that undermine a person’s credibility and authority.

  ©2021 Elizabeth Danziger All rights reserved

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