[2-minute read]
I recently heard a businessman giving a testimonial. He said, “I can’t thank Bill enough for what he did for me.” My first reaction was, “Why not give it a try?”
What did he mean when he said he couldn’t thank the person enough? That he could thank him, but he won’t? I believe he meant something like, “Words can hardly express the magnitude of my appreciation,” but what he said was plainly nonsense.
Phrases That Express Their Opposite
When else do we see phrases used to indicate the opposite of what they seem to say?
In an introduction to a podcast, a presenter wrote, “I can’t get over the amount of adversity this woman has overcome.” What does that mean? That he is lying in bed ruminating incessantly about the woman’s suffering? Or that he is impressed, or amazed, or overwhelmed? These are certainly more articulate ways of expressing amazement.
When apologizing for a misstep, a friend once murmured,”I can’t tell you how sorry I am…” I wish he had tried. It would have made it easier to forgive him.
What about “I can’t believe it!”? This could mean literally that a person is unable to believe what she has heard. Or it could mean simply that the person is very surprised at what she has heard. How is the reader or listener supposed to know?
Imagine the poor person who is trying to learn English as a second language: Native speakers are making statements that may mean what they say or may mean their opposite or may mean nothing at all.
The All-Time Winner
Perhaps the all-time winner among sentences that seem to say something but are utter nonsense is the commonly used statement, “I could care less.” It derives from the idiom, “I couldn’t care less.” which implies a negative level of caring… which is a type of caring in itself, but let’s not go there. “I could care less” is a simple statement of fact. I care to the extent of x, but I could care to the level of x minus 1. So what? Clearly, another case of nonsense.
What Can We Learn?
What is our takeaway from this brief foray into irrational idioms?
- Be articulate! Use strong verbs and vivid nouns and adjectives to describe your experience. Don’t resort to tired hyperbole.
- Say what you mean! Listen to yourself: Is it true that you can’t wait, can’t believe, can’t thank enough? Tell the truth.
- Be positive! Instead of telling people what you can’t do, say what you can do. “Thank you so much!” “I am flabbergasted”I apologize.”
- Be original! Follow George Orwell’s excellent advice: “Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print.” In other words, if you’ve seen it before, don’t use it again.
We become accustomed to conversational hyperbole because it surrounds us, but this use of language does not serve us. We can do better.
And by the way, I can’t thank you enough for reading this Writamin.
©2020 Elizabeth Danziger All rights reserved