Verbal and nonverbal communication come together to create influence.
Think about some of the most successful leaders you’ve known—perhaps a boss, a teacher, a Club President, or a committee chair. Chances are they share some common traits. As you develop your leadership skills, it’s helpful to reflect on leaders whom you have most respected, and try to verbalize what made them so impactful.
During my many years working as a consultant for business communications, I’ve found three characteristics that nearly all strong leaders share: a sense of integrity, the ability to respond to feedback, and strong communication skills.
Integrity
Successful leaders show integrity in all their actions, meaning they behave consistently with their values and take responsibility when things go wrong. This kind of integrity leads naturally to authenticity, which makes people feel that when the leader speaks, they reflect their true thoughts and values within the boundaries of professional presentation. Having integrity shows up in other behaviors too, such as being on time for meetings and not interrupting others.
Ability to Receive Feedback
Effective leaders welcome input from other people in the organization. They show a willingness to receive feedback by asking open-ended questions such as, “How do you feel about what I’m saying?” or “Can you tell me more about that?” and using inclusive language that incorporates “we” and “I.” If there’s a disagreement, they don’t get upset or dismiss the person’s observations. A good leader will pause and try to assess what their team members are trying to convey, perhaps by saying, “Let me be sure I understand you. What I think you said is ‘XYZ.’ Is that right?” or “Can you help me understand that better?”
Strong Communication Skills
Perhaps the most crucial trait of a good leader is that they are able to get people to listen when they speak. Strong communicators use clear language to ensure everyone understands the message, and they avoid trite buzzwords and jargon.
Ivan Rosenberg, Ph.D., who has trained over 4,500 leaders in his leadership development workshops, says, “A leader creates the possibility of a future that wasn’t going to happen and enrolls others into taking action to fulfill that future.” In other words, strong leaders create a concept of a future outcome and draw people toward it through their example and their language. It isn’t just the verbal part of communication that makes a difference, the nonverbal part is just as important. Rosenberg emphasizes that leaders’ behavior sets the tone for the whole organization. If leaders make excuses when they make mistakes, they create a company of cover-ups. If they are always late, others assume it’s okay to be late, too.
Verbal Behavior of a Leader: What Do You Say?
As you develop your leadership skills, the most impactful tool you can use is your words. Your words matter, and that includes not only what you say but how you say it.
If you’re trying to connect with a new team, ask questions or play appropriate games to figure out what the interests and strengths of your team members are. Try ice breaker activities to learn more about people’s experience and ways of communicating. Another effective strategy is to use storytelling to bring people together. This is particularly useful if you have stories that align with the goal of the team or can describe a challenging situation that ultimately led to a successful outcome.
Successful leaders behave consistently with their values and take responsibility when things go wrong.
Jargon and buzzwords, such as “low-hanging fruit” and “thinking outside the box,” can lead to confusion or a sense of not belonging for people who don’t know the terms. You will win more confidence using clear and straightforward language than spouting the latest business jargon. The same rule applies to acronyms: Be sure to identify them the first time you use them. For example, don’t describe the program year and refer to the “DCP.” Explain the Distinguished Club Program so new members can understand it, then introduce the acronym.
How you say your words can be just as important as what you say. When you are addressing a group—even during a simple get-to-know-you session—speak clearly and audibly, pronounce your words clearly. If you are in a diverse group, avoid using local dialects that may not translate to your entire team.
Vocal tone is key. To project a sense of leadership, your tone should be strong. A hesitant tone implies uncertainty or lack of confidence. End declarative sentences by pitching your voice downward at the end of each sentence. Treating statements as if they were questions leads to a damaging speaking habit called “upspeak.” People practicing upspeak seem to be asking for the listener’s approval with every sentence. For many listeners, this habit is distracting, even annoying. Drop the last syllable; do not inflect upward.
Your vocal tone says volumes about your feelings. Imagine all the ways that a person could answer “fine” to the question of how they are feeling. Someone might brightly say, “Fine!” and you’ll know they’re having a good day. Another might say “Fine” curtly and you instantly know that they are not fine at all. If you struggle with people misconstruing your words, try listening to recordings of yourself speaking or asking for feedback from your Toastmasters network.
Physical Presence: Looking the Part
Verbal communication is only one aspect of the language of leadership. When you stand in front of people, your audience or team is making snap judgments about your competence, professionalism, and credibility before you even open your mouth. These judgments happen instantaneously, usually at a subconscious level. Your posture, clothing, facial expression, gestures, and other factors must present a consistent sense of leadership.
A leader’s physical presentation should be consistent with the culture and values of their organization; for example, Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Meta, is well known for wearing hoodies to major meetings. However, those hoodies are of excellent quality, clean, and fit him well. When he was called to testify before U.S. Congress, Zuckerberg donned a suit—demonstrating that he knows how to dress appropriately for his environment and is able to adapt as a leader.
Your physical appearance can be empowering or disempowering. To project an image of power, stand up straight, but don’t be rigid. Keep your hands open at your sides unless you are gesturing naturally. Be sure to smile at your audience—sometimes it helps to choose a friendly face in the audience and smile at them. Make your smile genuine, however; plastering a grin on your face will make everyone wonder what you’re hiding. That said, you need to understand the situation and circumstances in which you’re speaking. If you’re addressing something serious, such as a bereavement, disaster, or impending layoffs, a smile would be inappropriate. The secret is to read the room and respond authentically.
Movement is another powerful tool for leaders. Move intentionally. If you stride across the stage, do so in order to speak to both sides of the room—not because you’re feeling antsy. As you move, keep your hands loose at your sides.
Eye contact is another key for connecting with people. In large groups, scan the room and focus on just a few individuals. Then, scan again, noting whether people are still paying attention or have started surreptitiously staring at their phones. If you feel you are losing the audience, change your physical position—stand up if you are sitting down or vice versa. Take a quick poll. Ask a question. Jolt them out of their apathy. In smaller groups, look at individuals with a friendly expression, smiling authentically when the occasion suits.
To retain a strong presence, avoid fidgeting, keeping a stiff posture or facial expression, or playing with your hair, jewelry, or clothing. If you ask others to share their thoughts but then stand with your arms crossed and a stern expression, your listeners are likely to clam up. Whenever your body language contradicts your words, people will believe your body language.
If you feel that maintaining a straight, open posture is uncomfortable—and many beginning speakers feel this way—try practicing in front of a mirror or at your Toastmasters club. Most people are not born knowing how to present themselves professionally. It’s a learned skill, and Toastmasters is an ideal place to practice and master various techniques.
Dealing With Sensitive Issues
If you’re wondering how best to speak to team members under challenging circumstances, remember three words: professional, friendly, and respectful. If you include those three factors in your communication, you won’t go wrong. For example, suppose a team member is upset that they did not receive an expected promotion. You can listen actively and empathetically, showing you comprehend their frustration. Encourage open dialogue, letting the person express their feelings and thoughts. Respect their sentiments.
You can then calmly explain some factors that went into management’s decision without disclosing confidential information. Then, you can respectfully offer to work with the person to create a career development plan that might lead to future promotions.
This approach—listening, reflecting the other person’s message, explaining the situation, and looking toward the future—will help you deal with a wide range of potentially distressing issues.
Developing the language of leadership requires self-awareness. Be mindful of your strengths and weaknesses. Work to improve yourself. As the Toastmasters year gets off to a start, integrate this knowledge into every speech, meeting role, and club officer interaction. By consistently maintaining the personal, physical, and verbal qualities of a leader, you will discover that the language of leadership becomes natural—because you are becoming a leader.