Use the language of connection so that readers feel connected to you and your message
The managing director of a large wealth management company recently complained to me that his staff seemed unable to forge warm relationships with the firm’s clients. “They are reluctant to pick up the phone or invite the client to lunch,” he lamented. “Even their emails veer between formal and stilted or breezy and inappropriately casual.” Recognizing the need for improvement, the firm hired me to work with them, and soon, their team showed a greater awareness of practicing the language of connection.
Effective verbal or written communication is crucial for building strong relationships in the workplace. When we write at work, we aim to engage our readers and achieve a specific purpose, such as gaining approval, obtaining information, or fostering collaboration. However, if readers feel that you do not care about or understand them or that you have disregarded social norms they value, their minds may close. Then, you will fight an uphill battle to get your point across.
Here are four ways to build rapport and inspire greater loyalty and satisfaction in your readers.
- Spell their names correctly
I was coaching a senior accountant at a regional accounting firm, helping him compose a proposal for a prospective client who was leaving their current firm. “Did you ask them why they are changing service providers?” I inquired. “Yes,” he replied. “They said that the other firm consistently spelled their name wrong.”
Losing the client was a blow to the original firm, yet they lost the business through a simple error.
Most of us want our names handled correctly. More important, remember that people generalize. In this case, the client concluded that their accountants did not know or value them, neglected to proofread, and were careless about details. These conclusions led them to jump ship.
Be especially careful about using the right form, particularly if a person’s name is commonly spelled several ways, such as Stephen/Steven, Alan/Allen/Allan, or Kelsy/Kelsey.
- Open with a comment that shows you know who they are
Open by making a pleasant comment that falls within professional boundaries. For example, if they mentioned in your last conversation that they were taking a cruise, write, “I hope you had a great time on your cruise.” If they recently had a child, say you hope the parent is getting enough sleep.
Let the reader know that you are not simply using them for business purposes. The more the reader feels seen and understood through your opening comment, the more open-minded they will be to your message.
- Use personal pronouns such as I, you, and we
Business writers often default to fall into using the third-person pronouns rather than using the more colloquial and humanizing tone of the first-person, second-person, and first-person plural pronouns.
Writing “The firm has changed its policies” sounds formal and cold. “We have changed our policies” sounds like you are taking responsibility for the change. Similarly, “Clients are urged to change their passwords regularly,” sounds stuffy. Instead, you could write, “We recommend that you change your password regularly,” which sounds like friendly advice.
- Match your reader’s tone
Be aware of your readers’ age, educational background, job role, and English proficiency, and write with words that suit the individual reader. Avoid starting emails with “Hey,” which many people find maddening. However, if they always address their emails to you with “Hey,” you can match their style.
If writing to a non-native English speaker, avoid idioms. “We’ll have to tear the Band Aid off” is meaningless to a foreigner. Similarly, saying “It’s raining cats and dogs” conjures confusing images.
Instead, use clear and direct language that is easy for all readers to understand, regardless of their cultural background.
These are just a few examples of ways to build bridges with your colleagues and clients when you write to them. Of course, the best way to connect with other people is to actually care about them, and show them with your language.
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