As a born editor, I have always been naturally critical. Maybe being critical is just being human, but I think some of us have the gift of noticing every last flaw in every last thing…a bit more than others.
But when I was dating my husband more than thirteen years ago, something he said changed my life forever.
We were discussing raising children, and he said, “I learned that instead of telling a child that he can’t do something, you should tell him what he can do.” In other words – even in a situation where you have to deny something to a child, there’s usually a positive action that you can focus on.
So instead of saying, “No, you can’t draw with the markers,” you can say, “We’re going to take a break from the markers right now, but you can play with the etch-a-sketch.”
It’s true that sometimes kids will push back and sometimes you’ll have to lay down the law with a firm “no,” but for all those other situations the “no’s” can be avoided by offering the positive alternative.
As it turns out, it’s not just parenting that benefits from communicating in the positive. In work, orienting oneself toward the positive is constantly applicable.
Rather than: “I can’t turn that document around by July 2.”
You say, “I can get it to you by the 8th, if that still works.”
Rather than: “This example doesn’t really work for the purpose it’s being used for.”
You say, “This example is really interesting – but I think it would work better over here.”
Rather than: “This colleague’s judgment seems totally off base.”
You say, “I can see how so-and-so’s perspective might be very useful in another situation.”
Sometimes positivity is about finding the silver lining to the cloud. But more often, it’s as simple as refusing to focus on negative space (what isn’t there, or isn’t working, or isn’t good) and focusing instead on what is. So your secretary might not be the world’s greatest Excel whiz, but she keeps the paperwork in tip-top shape. Your colleague may not be the king of creativity, but he is reliable and consistent and gets his work done on time. There is almost always something that is there, however much you may notice what’s missing. Positivity is about catching it.
Why is positivity so valuable? We are more willing to continue communicating within the safe haven of a positive environment. In other words, positivity is like a lubricant—it keeps communication moving smoothly in an organization. The more we communicate, the more we tap into the tremendous power of collaboration.
Almost all issues can be resolved as long as the communication machine’s cogs are still running. That includes changing or critiquing what is currently being done, identifying mistaken priorities, addressing unrealistic targets, and refocusing or revamping a project’s focus.
Negativity, on the other hand, acts as a wall. Like a big red stop sign, it causes people to pause, and retreat. While it may be necessary sometimes, it cannot be the go-to of an organization’s communication.
So, if you notice yourself stating points negatively, remember that the negativity hides a hidden growth mindset. You just want things to be better!
Now, let’s use positive language to help you share your message more positively with others.
Call Worktalk When:
- Companies lose customers due to poor messaging from sales and customer service teams;
- Clients complain about communication from professional service firms’ staff members;
- Employees need to humanize the output of AI-assisted writing programs so it doesn’t sound fake;
- Employees need help developing the right prompts for AI-assisted writing programs to generate more effective outputs;
- Employees waste time repeatedly emailing one another because their messages are unclear.
Contact Worktalk today. Click here.